


The Only Good Guys You Get

by trekkiepirate



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Leverage AU, M/M, The Library is The Worst, as per usual, barely edited, my apologies all around, written very quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 12:18:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17304494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trekkiepirate/pseuds/trekkiepirate
Summary: “If you're here it means you've gone to the police, to lawyers, and the authorities,” she spits the word and her mouth twitches into snarl, “can't do anything, whether by legal constraints or sheer incompetence. Powerful people can become so clouded over that they think everything should belong to them and whoever they have to step on to achieve their goals is nothing, less than nothing,” her eyes are sad now, almost guilty. “They steal from you and then bury you under so much pressure that it may feel like you'll never get free. But you will. That's what we do. They take what they want but we can steal it back for you. My people, our team, we provide... leverage.”





	The Only Good Guys You Get

**Author's Note:**

> So, obviously the summary and quote from the story is my take on the Leverage opening mono. I love Leverage and The Magicians and I tried to do justice to both. Who knows? One day I may return to this and do more stories.

They say if you have a problem, if you've been unjustly wronged by someone more powerful, stronger, or richer than you, to go to a certain small hole-in-the-wall bar in Manhattan. There'll be an empty booth in the back, sit there and soon a woman with hair so blond it looks white in the dim ambient lighting will join you.  
She's quiet and will listen as you tell her your story. She doesn't smile much and while she can seem cold, what she doesn't seem is unkind. Not to you and yours anyway. She writes as you talk, though you're never sure exactly what it is she writes down in her notebooks.  
Often a man will join her. If she's near silent and still, he's effortlessly chatty and friendly. He'll offer you homemade food from the kitchen he seems to have the run of and you may accept, for whatever else this cheerful man might be, he's most definitely not a fairy.  
They are a good deal paler, for one.  
The two are polar opposites yes, but good friends nonetheless, and besides, they're just the faces of their group. She is Alice Quinn and he is Josh Hoberman.  
You might see two more of their number drinking or tending at the bar, a tall handsome man with dark curls and a woman so beautiful you might forget your name. Eliot Waugh and Margo Hansen are both so lovely that they are impossible to forget. This is just one of their many charming weapons.  
Kady Orloff-Diaz will most likely be throwing darts in the back. She's who you want on your side if you need punches thrown or men incapacitated. Josh calls her The Lady of The Iron Fists and you can't quite convince yourself it's not an official title.  
Julia Wicker, is less often down in the bar proper. She and Josh's wife, Poppy, are most often somewhere with a strong wi-fi signal and an unending supply of orange soda and tea. It's them who give the others the rock solid aliases they will need and they can break down digital walls like breathing. They who will transfer far more money then you lost into your account when all is said and done. Even if what you lost isn't money.  
It's said two of the group are thieves, one with hands so swift it's like they never moved at all, the other so fast and agile it's as he if can pop into and out of locked rooms by magic. Quentin Coldwater and Penny Adioyi work together seamlessly though both, especially Penny, would probably glare you down if you dared suggest such a thing.  
Together, they are The Magicians. A clever name, you suppose, since Quentin does card tricks and Margo quotes the Harry Potter series and Fillory novels like she's memorized them. And it sure does seem like magic when they save the day, even when no one else could.  
“We're the last hope,” Alice will say when you've finished. “If you're here it means you've gone to the police, to lawyers, and the authorities,” she spits the word and her mouth twitches into snarl, “can't do anything, whether by legal constraints or sheer incompetence. Powerful people can become so clouded over that they think everything should belong to them and whoever they have to step on to achieve their goals is nothing, less than nothing,” her eyes are sad now, almost guilty. “They steal from you and then bury you under so much pressure that it may feel like you'll never get free. But you will. That's what we do. They take what they want but we can steal it back for you. My people, our team, we provide... leverage.”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

“What's she saying?” Quentin shouted while Eliot and Margo shot off a few more offensive blasts. Their volleys were answered and Quentin grit his teeth as he felt the shield he was creating take the brunt of the blows.

Kady translated as the woman they were supposed to be stealing from, Harriet, moved her hands so fast it was like she was doing magic. Quentin supposed using your hands to form words where there were none before was a type of magic anyway. “They lied. The Library. She didn't steal their work, they stole,” Kady's voice changed from worry to anger.   
“They stole hers.”

“The spell? You created it?” She said, even as she signed the words back at Harriet.

Harriet nodded and Poppy's voice crackled over their earpieces. “There are seven more librarians coming your way. Repeat, more goblins on their way.”

“The goblins worked at Gringott's bank, not the library, and they were a shitty metaphor for Jews,” Margo said, even as she fired off a quick succession of blasts that took out two of the librarians, all of whom seemed surprisingly well trained in battle magic.

Eliot ducked down just as a bolt that would have taken his head off whizzed over their upturned table. “Bambi, I appreciate your ability to separate author hate from book love, but maybe not the time, yeah?”

“Seconded,” Kady said, even as her eyes never left Harriet's hands. “Shit, fuck, damn.” She said.

“Now what?” Quentin asked as he reinforced the shield spell while the librarians were down.

Kady took her eyes from Harriet to face her friends. “You know Zelda? The librarian who gave us the sob story about the stolen spell that we needed to recover?”

“Rings a bell,” Alice said over the earpiece, breathing hard as she and Josh kept their exit line clear. She was the best at magic, of all of them, and with Josh, was the best at the stealth magic they needed to infiltrate and escape the places they got into. But that level of concentration took a toll and even with Josh's backup, Alice spent most of their post-mission downtime recuperating her strength.

“Harriet's her daughter,” Kady explained.

Quentin frowned, as he glanced over at Harriet, who was obviously older than the librarian. “That doesn't seem likely.”

“Really, babe?” Eliot shook his head and bent his fingers as he readied another stun blast. “You've been in the magical world for three years at this point and you're just finding out about Temporal Suspension?”

“We learned about that in the first semester,” Penny said as he popped in, the page with Harriet's spell written down in his hand and his knuckle tattoos still alight with his recent jump. “Dude just missed it because he was too busy staring at Alice's tits.” He paused. “No offense, Alice.”

Alice's voice was cold. “I'm well aware of the copious amounts of time Quentin used to stare at my breasts. Thank god Eliot fucked him before he asked me out or I'd have fucked him out of kindness and this team would have been over before it began.”

“Well, while we'll all having this charming stroll down Fuck Upon A Time Lane, we're about to be surrounded,” Margo sent another volley over their heads. “It's go time, bitches.”

Eliot, Quentin and Margo stood, their actions well practiced and natural as breathing. Quentin turned the shield he'd been building into a offensive blast, knocking out everyone on the other side of the room.

Eliot and Margo picked off strays as everyone else headed through Alice's portal back to the Library bathroom they'd entered from. Margo went through the portal first, then Quentin and Eliot. Alice and Josh came last, closing the portal behind themselves.

“That's everyone?” Eliot asked as he looked around.

“They're shit out of luck if it isn't,” Margo said.

Harriet and Kady were already climbing through the mirror, Penny helping them and then Margo before going through himself. Quentin slipped after him and Eliot was right behind. Victoria was there on the Mirror Bridge, face contorted as she fought to keep the halfway world between the portals open. “Hurry,” she urged as Alice and Josh joined the group on the Mirror Bridge.

With a guttural grunt, Victoria closed the doorway leading to the Library and hung her head, body drooping dangerously forward. Josh caught her and picked her up. “Shit, she's lost too much blood. We need to get back, hurry! Tell Julia to be ready!”

Quentin was fastest, so he raced through their doorway back to their headquarters above the pub. Anyone who knew the Physical Kids Cottage at Brakebills would swear that was where they ended up, but it was just a nigh-perfect recreation. He and Eliot had spent the better part of the first week after they all moved in making it look and feel as much like home as possible. Everyone, even Julia, who had never truly lived in the Cottage, was glad to have the familiar surroundings when they first ventured into their business.

“Jules, Victoria's in a bad way, fire 'em up!” Quentin shouted as he inelegantly tumbled through the mirror back home.

Julia shot up from where she'd been examining the spell and rubbed her hands together. A warm orange glow grew stronger as she did and by the time, everyone was through and Josh brought an now-unconscious Victoria over the threshold, Julia's hands looked as though they were on fire.

Josh laid Victoria down on a nearby chaise lounge put there just in case and Julia had her hands wrapping around the bleeding wrists in seconds.

The bleeding stopped and the blood on Victoria's arms seemed to flow back into the cuts before they re-knitted themselves.

Poppy was bent over Josh's hands, cleaning them of Victoria's blood. “What happened in there?” She asked, eyeing Harriet with an air of suspicion. Her eyes widened and she darted over to her laptop, clicking some keys and turning it to face the room at large. “Danger, danger, Will Robinson! She's our thief!”

“Calm down, Pops,” Josh said, taking his wife's computer and putting it down. “Time for a recap. Harriet didn't steal a life-threatening spell from the Library. The Library stole it from her. And it's not life-threatening. It's a way to open the Library to everyone, without the whole Library card thing.”

“Like you could visit the Library whenever you want to?” Poppy asked, eyes alight with excitement. “I could get some real face time with the Bookwyrm. No one's ever been able to study it that closely before. I could be the first! I could finish my thesis at last!”

Poppy chattered on as Quentin left the scene to drift downstairs to the bar. Penny was digging through the bar for snacks as Kady and Harriet signed on a couple of stools.

Alice was laying on Margo's lap on their side of the usual booth, while Eliot was making come hither gestures to Quentin to join him on theirs.

“Way I figure it,” Eliot was saying, “today was a win for everyone who is not The Library. Magic knowledge becomes equal opportunity and we kicked the asses of some uptight dickwads. Love wins,” he pecked Quentin's cheek as his boyfriend slid in next to him.

“I'm just glad it's done,” Quentin said, turning towards Eliot like a flower towards the sun. “I thought there was something suspicious about the whole 'riches beyond your dreams' reward thing coming from a library. Didn't add up. Even before the whole 'and now we have to kill you' thing.”

“Also that Zelda bitch didn't pay us when we headed it over like she promised anyway,” Margo groused as she picked through the nut bowl for a cashew.

“Yes that's the exact right thing to be focusing on right now,” Alice said as she waved a hand and all the cashews floated into the air before settling down in a neat line in front of Margo.

“As team accountant, I take that personally,” Margo frowned. “Also, stop using magic, sweetheart, you need to get your strength back.” She bent down to kiss Alice's forehead. “Rest, honey.”

Alice burrowed further into Margo's lap like a cat settling into its bed for the night.

“Seriously, did you not hear Harriet?” Quentin said, then looked as if he wanted to bite the words back when Harriet read his lips and sent him a wry look. “Sorry. I meant did you not understand Harriet? This spell could open the library to everyone. An enormous wealth of magical knowledge and you wouldn't have to jump through their thousands of hoops to get it.”

Julia piped up as she came down the spiral staircase.. “Even a level three hedge witch could get into the Library to study magic after this,” she waved the spell page around, her own hedge witch tattoos on display. “They won't have to flay their souls tracking down one little spell at a time. They could learn everything they want without having to go to Brakebills,” she said the school's name as if it was still a bitter taste, even years after having failed the entrance exam.

“Victoria's resting,” Poppy announced as she followed down, one hand on the rail and one on her pregnant stomach.

Quentin reached into his hoodie and took out a palm-sized bag, muttering in Tukish until it was big enough to cover most of the table. “Okay, so here's what I grabbed.”

“Stickiest fingers in the business,” Eliot purred, nosing behind Quentin's ear.

Quentin beamed at the affection of his boyfriend and started laying out the pile of books. “So, the Library has books about the lives of, well, everyone. Or at least definitely every one of us.” He nodded over at Harriet. “She was right about that. Well, everything really. Thank you.” The last was the one sign he knew and Harriet smiled to see him try to talk to her in her own language.

Kady bounced over, Harriet and Penny behind her. She took the book with her name on it and frowned. “Should I be concerned it's so short?”

“Or that my outstanding and extraordinary life needs two volumes?” Eliot asked.

Harriet signed. “It's not a sign of the length of the life it contains. Don't worry.”

“Thanks,” Kady said as she finished translating. “So is this why the Library is under lock and key? So people can't read their books and get a preview of what's next for them?”

Harriet shook her head. “Lots more dangerous and interesting things in the Library than that.”

“Hey, question,” Josh said, “if you're Zelda's daughter, why didn't you just like... open the door from the inside? Why the spell at all?”

“Number one of Mom's and the Library's rules is: Distribution of materials to persons or sentient things not in possession of a Library card is forbidden.” Harriet threw up her hands in a gesture of 'what can you do?' “I spent my life trying to convince her that knowledge shouldn't be guarded; it should be free to all. She never listened. That's why I created the spell. To break down the Library's walls and keep them down forever. Knowledge is power and I wanted to even the playing field.”

Penny frowned. “If there's dangerous stuff in the Library, are you sure it should be open to all?”

Harriet gave him a hard stare. “If there's a room labeled 'Danger. Keep Out. Poison inside.' And someone still goes inside, is that the fault of anyone except the dumbass who broke a door full of locks in order to see if there really is poison inside?”

“Is there?” Penny asked.

“Yes, that's why it's labeled the Poison Room,” she rolled her eyes and turned to Kady. “What do you see in him?”

Kady laughed. “I'll tell you later.”

“Still,” Julia said, “are we sure we shouldn't just sit on this? After all, doors go both ways. They know we took the spell.”

“Julia's right, they might come after us,” Quentin said.

“And we'll be ready,” Alice murmured sleepily, mostly into Margo's stomach.

“And we'll be ready,” her girlfriend reasserted, chin up like she was balancing a crown on her head. “Come at us, bitches.”


End file.
